What to Do (and Not Do) Before Filing for Divorce in Florida

In this guide, I cover what to do, and what not to do, before you file for divorce in Florida. That includes money, moving out, your kids, your texts, your documents, and your own peace of mind.

1. Keep Your Finances Steady

Once a divorce is filed, many Florida courts automatically issue a standing order. It usually requires both spouses to keep things as they are. Bills get paid, insurance stays in place, and no one drains or hides accounts. Judges take this seriously, and they will look back at what you did before filing, too.

So, before you file:

• Don’t move money into secret accounts.
• Don’t put cars or real estate in someone else’s name.
• Don’t cancel your spouse’s car insurance or phone plan.
• Don’t suddenly stop paying household bills you’ve always paid.

Trying to “get a head start” almost always backfires. Florida’s financial disclosure rules require both spouses to hand over bank statements, credit card statements, tax returns, and more. The paper trail tells the story. Learn more about mandatory disclosure in Florida divorce.

Wasting Money Can Make You Pay Twice

Florida judges can look at money one spouse wasted or hid during the case, or in the two years before it was filed. See Fla. Stat. § 61.075. The law calls this “intentional dissipation.” The judge can treat that money as if it still exists.

Here’s an example. Say one spouse loses $50,000 gambling in Las Vegas right before filing. The judge can count that $50,000 as part of the marital estate and give the other spouse credit for their half. So you lose the money once at the casino, and then again in court.

2. Don’t Play Games With Your Income

Some people think they can pay less support by quitting their job, taking a lower-paying one, or slowing down their business right before a divorce. In Florida, that plan usually fails.

A judge can “impute” income. That means the judge can base support on what you could earn, using your past pay, work history, and education, not just what you earn today. See Fla. Stat. § 61.30 for child support. For example, if a surgeon quits a hospital job for a $20-an-hour clinic job right before filing, the court can still use the surgeon’s old salary.

These games also hurt your credibility with the judge, which can cost you on every other issue in the case.

3. Moving Out Isn’t Abandonment

Many people worry that moving out of the house means giving it up. That’s a myth. Florida judges start from an equal split of marital property. Moving out because things are tense at home doesn’t change that.

What hurts you is abandoning your responsibilities. If you move out, stop paying the mortgage, and stop seeing your kids, a judge may hold that against you, especially on parenting issues.

If you move out:

• Keep paying your normal share of the mortgage, utilities, and insurance.
• Keep records of what you pay. You may get credit for it when property is divided.
• Know that moving out can make it harder to get temporary use of the home during the case.

If you have kids, talk to a lawyer before you move out. Where the children live during the case can affect the time-sharing discussion later.

4. If You Aren’t Safe, Get Protection First

If staying in the home puts you or your children at risk, your safety comes first. Florida law lets you ask the court for an injunction for protection against domestic violence. See Fla. Stat. § 741.30.

• A judge can grant a temporary injunction the same day, without telling your spouse first, if there’s an immediate danger.
• The temporary order lasts up to 15 days, and a full hearing is set before it runs out.
• A final injunction can give you the home, set a temporary time-sharing schedule and support, and bar your spouse from having guns.

If you’re in danger right now, call 911.

5. If You Depend on Your Spouse’s Income, Don’t Wait Too Long

Until a divorce is filed, a family court generally can’t order your spouse to keep paying the bills. If the higher-earning spouse suddenly stops, the other spouse may have no way to force payments.

Once the petition is filed, your lawyer can ask for temporary alimony and temporary child support while the case is going on. See Fla. Stat. § 61.071. But hearings on temporary support can take two to three months to get on the calendar in many counties. The sooner you file, the sooner that clock starts.

Picture a stay-at-home parent whose spouse moves out and stops paying the mortgage and daycare. Without a case filed, the court can’t step in. Filing puts the court in a position to order support before the damage is done. Learn more about alimony in Florida and child support.

6. Put Your Kids First From Day One

Florida judges decide parenting issues based on what’s best for the child. See Fla. Stat. § 61.13. One of the things they look at closely is whether each parent supports the child’s relationship with the other parent.

These behaviors can hurt your case, and more importantly, your child:

• Bad-mouthing the other parent to your kids or in front of them
• Keeping the kids from the other parent when there’s no real safety issue
• Using schedules as a weapon, like messing with pickups or holidays to get back at your spouse

Keep your kids’ lives as steady as you can. Keep paying for daycare, health insurance, and activities. Keep their routines the same.

When the kids are at the other parent’s house, let that parent run it. Unless there’s a real safety concern, constant calls and questioning the kids can look like you’re trying to control the other home. If talking to your spouse is hard, a co-parenting app like OurFamilyWizard or TalkingParents keeps things calm and creates a record judges trust. See our guide to Florida parenting plans.

7. Assume Every Text Becomes an Exhibit

Texts, emails, DMs, voicemails, and even Venmo notes can all end up in court. The simplest rule I give clients is this: don’t put anything in writing that you wouldn’t want a judge to read out loud.

Picture two parents arguing about the kids:

• Parent A texts: “You’re a terrible mother. You’ll never see the kids again.”
• Parent B texts: “Per the parenting plan, I’ll drop the kids off at 6 p.m. at the usual place. Let me know if anything changes.”

If those texts are shown to a judge, it’s easy to see which parent looks reasonable. Judges remember that.

Here’s how to keep your messages from hurting you:

• Keep it short. Stick to logistics: kids, bills, schedules.
• Stick to facts. No sarcasm, name-calling, or threats.
• Write like HR is copied. Treat your spouse like a coworker and the judge like HR reading every message.
• Wait before you reply. If a message makes your heart race, close it. Unless it’s an emergency, wait a few hours, or better yet overnight.
• Don’t take the bait. Some spouses send long, angry messages hoping you’ll explode in writing. You don’t have to answer them. Silence can’t be used against you. An angry reply can.
• Don’t make deals by text. “Fine, I’ll sell the house” usually isn’t a binding agreement. Let the lawyers put real agreements in writing.

8. Protect Your Privacy

What you tell your lawyer is normally private. But you can lose that protection by sharing it. If you repeat your lawyer’s advice or strategy to a friend, the other side may be able to ask about it.

Talking to friends can also drive up your legal bill. It happens all the time: we spend an hour on a plan, then a friend says, “That’s not fair, my cousin got more.” Now we’re spending time redoing a plan that was already sound. Friends mean well, but they aren’t your lawyer.

Some practical steps:

• Create a new email account just for your divorce. Use a new, strong password, and don’t sign in on shared devices.
• Check shared devices and accounts. A family iPad signed into your iCloud can show your texts, email, and location to anyone who picks it up.
• Sign out of old devices left at the house.
• Be careful on social media. Posts, photos, and DMs can all become evidence.

9. Get Your Documents Together

Florida requires both spouses to share a long list of financial documents early in the case. See Fla. Fam. L. R. P. 12.285. Messy or missing paperwork leads to delays, back-and-forth, and higher bills. Start gathering now:

• The last three years of tax returns, including business returns if you own a business
• Recent pay stubs
• At least 12 months of bank statements and 24 months of credit card statements
• Retirement and brokerage statements
• Loan documents, including the mortgage
• If you’re self-employed, profit and loss statements and a balance sheet

Put everything in one folder. It’s also smart to take a video walk-through of your home, room by room, before anyone moves out. If you have a business or complex assets, read our page on property division.

10. Take Care of Your Mind

Divorce is a marathon for your mind. Stress leads to rushed choices, like giving up a retirement account just to be done. A clear head is one of the biggest advantages you can give yourself.

• See a therapist. A therapist is trained for this, your talks are generally confidential, and it usually costs less per hour than talking through feelings with your lawyer.
• Replace “what if” with a plan. Ask your lawyer for a roadmap of what happens first and what comes next. See our guide to the Florida divorce process.
• Plan your new normal. Sketch out a budget, where you might live, and a rough schedule for the kids.
• Know your top three goals. Maybe it’s keeping the house, a 50/50 schedule, or protecting your business. Clear goals help your lawyer build the right plan.

Many good people put off filing because they don’t want to be “the bad guy.” But filing doesn’t cause a divorce. It starts a process to deal with something that’s already broken.

11. Decide How Your Spouse Will Find Out

Once you file, your case shows up on the county court docket. Talk with your lawyer about how your spouse should learn about it. You could tell them yourself, have your lawyer reach out to theirs, or use formal service. If safety is a concern, plan the timing carefully. The right approach can lower the temperature for the whole case. If you’ve just been served, read what the first month of a Florida divorce looks like.

Quick Pre-Filing Checklist

• Keep spending and bill-paying the same as always.
• Gather your financial documents in one folder.
• Make a simple budget and housing plan.
• If someone is moving out, agree in writing on who pays what, and keep records.
• Keep the kids’ routines steady, and never bad-mouth the other parent.
• Set up a private email and secure your devices.
• Write down your top three goals.
• If you’re not safe, ask about an injunction and a safety plan.

The Bottom Line

The best way to prepare for a Florida divorce is simple. Keep things steady, write down everything, and act like a judge is watching. Protect your kids, protect your privacy, and take care of yourself. For more on what’s ahead, see how long a divorce takes in Florida and what a divorce costs in Florida. Learn more about our Florida divorce lawyers.

This article is for general information and is not legal advice. Reading it does not create an attorney-client relationship.